Keep Growing

Current Marianist PULSE Volunteer, Julia, is our very welcome guest blogger this week. Julia generously shares thoughts on work at her nonprofit placement, Homefull, while also revealing her challenges, doubts, her new abilities and newfound confidence, and what she's learned on 'the roller coaster!' 

At Homefull, the people are nice, the mission is strong, and some programs have been in place for decades. That all makes it sound easy and fun and you would be correct in assuming that it is easy to work with nice people and it is fun to be a part of a strong mission. 

But where does one fit when the program is already established? 

If you don’t have a spot, you build one! That's what I did.

I didn’t build a spot because they didn’t want me or because they weren’t accommodating. I was able to build a spot for those very reasons; they want to work with me and are open to what I have to say. I have learned so much about how to conduct a meeting, state the changes I desire without being disrespectful—and some learning came from shutting my mouth. 

In the summer and fall I was helping on one of our urban farms half of the week. We built a pallet fence, moved dirt, and harvested peppers; the works. It was exhausting and while I enjoyed the work and those with whom I worked, I still found myself asking, "How might this lead me into the next part of my life?" 

As our presence increased on the farm, more and more residents of the area started to interact with us in a positive way and to ask questions. As I continued to engage and encourage people to come back, I felt a skill growing in community engagement. The main farmer I worked with said that I was doing well in my outreach and slowly word got around to those who supervised me in other ways. Soon enough I was talking to people about my ideas and was given projects to work on over the winter with the hope of implementing some of them in the spring. One project I am particularly excited about is having a pop-up farmers market at the same urban farm where we had so much interest from the community. 

Some days it has been daunting to do what can feel like busy work. I mused, “Are they just giving me something to work on so I stop bugging them with questions?” If I am being completely honest, this thought nagged me every day for multiple weeks. I was questioning my reasoning for this program and if what I am doing will hold any weight on my resume. 

One day I was going about my normal routine of self-doubt when a calendar event popped up in my work email from my head supervisor. The title: ‘Julia to Present 2019 Urban Ag Plans’ and my jaw hit the floor. I was immediately recharged! Now, I have a month and half to do research, finalize my lists, and make it look presentable. A couple days later my supervisor walked in my office to double check that I received the calendar event, and to say that she is excited to hear what I have to say. 

While it is easier to listen to let self-doubt tell you that people are just saying things to be nice (but they don’t really mean it,) it is a lot more rewarding to realize they don’t have to say anything at all…but they did! Try not to let what you think you should be doing stop you from working your hardest at what is in front of you. 

This year so far has felt like a roller coaster of understanding that I am capable, to fighting the urge to become static. I’ve found sparks of excitement to feed my passion and I intend to find more. I anticipate that this will not be the last time I have to create a spot for myself in a work environment but now I know I can. 

Keep growing,
Julia