Presence of Patience

This week's Spectacle of Saints blog post is written by current PULSE volunteer, Abby. Abby is a graduate of the University of Dayton, has a Bachelors in Mechanical Engineering and in her nonprofit placement, supports children in Dayton area schools through the Dayton Public Schools Refugee Welcome Center.

“I am like a brook that makes no effort to overcome obstacles in its way. All the obstacles can do is hold me up for a while, as a brook is held up; but during that time it grows broader and deeper and after a while it overflows the obstruction and flows along again. This is how I am going to work.” –Bl. William Joseph Chaminade

The start of the new year is often a time to reflect and refocus for the year ahead. In our community prayer on the last day of 2018, we reflected on our PULSE experience and how we want to grow over the next six months. I realized how much of the last five months has been spent growing in patience. In examining the role of patience in my PULSE year, I was drawn to the above quote by Fr. Chaminade. In the same way a brook steadily wears away at a boulder, we must be patient as we grow and change. During our monthly formation days, we discussed the value of patience as it pertains to work and community.

Abby (center) with PULSE community members

Immediately after starting PULSE in August, I needed to call on patience when I wasn’t able to start my placement until September. It would have been very easy to sit back and let the month pass by as the details were being ironed out, being passively patient. However, I was able to provide volunteer service elsewhere until I could begin. This idea of active patience has been a key throughout the year. As I worked, I realized that I had a desire to engage more directly with the refugee students being served at DPS (Dayton Public Schools). I discussed with my supervisor and others to determine if the changes I desired were possible. While it was going to take time, I was able to begin engaging with students through after-school tutoring. Remaining actively patient, enabled me to continue building connections to facilitate further engagement in the classroom.

The need for patience doesn’t end when I leave work for the day as patience is essential for intentional community. At the beginning of August we had discussed what we wanted from living and loving together and what that potentially would look like. Many times we have had to reconvene and adjust our perspectives based on how each person communicates and processes information. I’ve been so appreciative of their patience and it has inspired me to emphasize patience in my interactions with others. By leading with patience, it has become easier for me to recognize the individual needs of my community members and how best to support them. Sure, there are days where I get irritated by something one of my community members says or does but I have learned to be patient with myself as I search for the ‘why’ behind my reaction. This has given me the chance to recognize if it’s something I need to work through internally or if it’s something that requires a conversation with someone else.

A conversation doesn’t make a new person; growth doesn’t happen overnight. It is so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the conversation is the solution and be discouraged when change isn’t automatic or the frustrations don’t immediately dissipate. This year has reminded me of the importance of being patient with myself and my community. The presence of patience allows us to give each other the time and space to grow and flourish. While I can’t anticipate the boulders that will arise this year, I know that I will continue to “grow broader and deeper.”

Peace, 
Abby